Blogging has taken a back seat for quite a while …
As a writer it is important to write, so what do you do when you feel discouraged in your writing?
I was elated when a publisher agreed to take me on and publish my first book “The Times of Kerim”. I knew that I had been given a chance. Kerim came out in August 2012 and it felt like my bubble burst. There was no fanfare and a rush to the top of the rankings. I felt disappointed. There appeared to be little promotion, but then my publisher was a small company and in the US whilst I sat in the UK. I did my bit in trying to get it out there. My local paper did an article that was all over the place in details and I did a bit of social media pushing. I hated trying to promote myself.
You see, when you feel like you have little value or expertise, you find it difficult to promote yourself. Of course, when I say you I really mean me.
Don’t get me wrong, I had friends say nice stuff and people wrote kind words, but that is what I thought, just kindness and a pat on the head to little old me.
Events in life seemed to confirm some of the stuff I was thinking about myself. The first copies went out with the wrong manuscript in them and full of editing mistakes. I thought I looked stupid. Then, having finished the second book I discovered that my publisher wasn’t going to take it. It was almost shameful to admit that I hadn’t made it even past the first book. I felt that they didn’t see any value in me and my creativity.
What a load of rubbish I have been believing! Recently I sat down with my best friend and we talked about lies that impact our lives. Who dictates my value? Is it sales? Is it what others think of me? Is it how I am perceived rightly or wrongly? No really, what gives me value?!
I heard another person say a value is given to something by what someone else is willing to pay for it. I have had the greatest price paid for me. When I devalue myself, when I fail to recognise the giftings, passions and creativity, what am I saying about the value that they have paid? … That they are wrong. Ouch! When the one who paid the greatest price is Jesus, I need to re-evaluate my thinking.
This is what I am doing now.
It has been a long time coming. My second book in the Remnant Chronicles should have been released last year and it was ready then. It has sat on my computer collecting virtual dust. But thanks to the same best friend who kindly pointed out some of those lies, who sent me talks about writing, who read my book, who cried in the right places because of what I had written, who tells me I’m amazing and means it (not just kind words!), “The Days of Eliora” will be published next month.
I will again throw myself into self promoting. To be honest, I still don’t think that I will be that comfortable with it but my perspective has changed. I know that I am called to write. I would love for my books to become best sellers worldwide (and that is not dependent on my promoting). But ultimately I write because I need to be a light in a dark warehouse. I know that not everyone reads deeply theological and intellectual books and gets what they are about, but through the power of a story those same truths can be found. After all, who wants to live their life based on a lie.
So watch this space. I will be posting the first three chapters in the next few weeks for you to get excited about!